


She Knew

by Adara_Rose



Category: The Mangler (1995)
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4617108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adara_Rose/pseuds/Adara_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time John went out late, Sandra knew where he had been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Knew

The first time John went out late to “buy milk” and returned three hours later, unable to look her in the eye and smelling of organic soap, Sandra knew where he had been. They had been dating for four months, living together for two, and at this point she knew him very well. She only needed to take one look at John to know. But she never said that she knew.

 

When Sandra and John had been living together for six months they got married. It was a small ceremony, only the closest family and friends. John begged of a stag do, saying he was content to spend the night with Mark, talking and drinking and other “guy things”. Sandra smiled and kissed his cheek and did not let on that she knew. And as she stood before the priest and God and said “I do”, she saw the quick glance her new husband sent in someone else's direction. But she did not let on with as much as a blink of her eyes that she knew.

 

Sandra said nothing when she opened her car door and the interior reeked of air freshener. She noted, however, that John had missed a tissue on the floor, almost hidden beneath the front seat. She picked it up carefully, holding it between the tip of her thumb and her finger, looking at it thoughtfully. She wondered, briefly, who it was that had used it, but realised it did not matter. The event which had required it's use was enough to know about. So when he came home from his walk, she smiled and kissed him and did not let on that she knew.

 

When she got sick, both John and Mark were at her side as much as they possibly could - Mark more than John, obviously, since John still had a regular job with regular hours whereas Mark could come and go as he wished. But in all the hours they spent together, reading, talking, singing, or just resting, she never once let on that she knew. Not even when he wore a high-collared shirt to hide the passion marks or sat down slowly, trying not to let her see him wince.

 

Later, after, when she was watching John grieve and sort through her belongings, she felt ashamed for never having let on that she knew. She could see his shame, his guilt, and his pain and could do nothing to ease it. When he cried at her tombstone and begged her forgiveness, she had no way of telling him that she forgave him a long, long time ago. She had always known that it was she who was the other woman, but she had never told him that. And now she couldn't.

 

She knew the night he got in his car and drove to the trailer for the first time since she died that he would spend the night there, and she had a pretty good idea what they would be doing. She was glad, because she had seen Mark grow haggard and pale, drowning in guilt and shame and longing for the man that she now knew that he loved more than she could ever have.

 

She embraced Mark and cried when he came to her after the events at the factory. They clung to each other, both grieving having to leave the man they both loved behind. Then he told her everything; how they had loved, how they had hidden and lied and cheated and he begged her forgiveness, said he would not have done it if he had not given his heart to John the moment he saw him. And she kissed his eyelids like she used to when they were children and told him she had known all along.

 

They turned, together, to look at John where he sat in his hospital chair, a lost and haunted look in his eyes. It was the look of a man who had had his heart broken and would not ever get over it. Mark whispered to her that John would grieve and move on with his life, maybe find someone new, and he tried to sound hopeful but she knew his heart was breaking at the thought of seeing their John with someone else.

 

And Sandra turned her face away so he would not see her sorrow. For she knew that there would never be anyone else for John. And furthermore, she knew, that six months from now he would choose the darkness and once again lay in Mark’s arms in the afterlife.

 

But this time, she would make sure to tell him that she knew and that she did not mind.

 

 


End file.
